I feel loneliness...

I was wondering if any of you had noticed what I had left out of my title from my last post. I am very thankful for all in my life but sometimes those people or experiences make me unhappy or sad.

The long weekend started off well and I was overwhelmed with joy. I ended up taking a friend of mine to Colorado Springs, so that my friend would be able to have a Happy Thanksgiving. From the moment I dropped my friend off and went on my own way, it hit me again that I am alone and my smile turned into a frown. Even though I had plans of my own for the weekend, I could not pull myself out of this slump I was fastly sliding into.

Thursday I flew from Denver to Seattle, to spend Thanksgiving with some friends of mine. I enjoyed getting away and catching up but still could not find that joy I had had just one day earlier.

Upon my return to Colorado Springs on saturday evening, my worst fears had come to light. I had lost a great deal of my connection to my friend. We both have issues going on our lives from past experiences. Needless to say, I have nothing to be happy about at the moment. I am thankful but depression is weighing heavily on me.

I appologize for me being so negative but when you give everything you have to help someone and it does no good; maybe even worsen things I cannot feel happy in no manner. I don't know if you my friend are reading this but my heart goes out to you and hope things get better in your world.

Maybe things will turn around before my big day next Tuesday but I can only think of one thing that I want. With the recent events, it seems like I have better luck at winning the lottery...